Monthly Archives:January 2013

From balls into cats

18 Jan 13
Daniel Smith
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Free yourself: Your job is to convert people from balls into cats. John Grinder

Many of us are trapped in our thinking. We allow other people to “make” us angry (or happy or sad). We respond predictably when people push our buttons. We fixate upon specific internal representations of events and people. A primary focus for the application of NLP patterns is to restore the freedom, choice and flexibility that allows us to respond differently.

Language can trap us. If I was to say that my son makes me angry I sacrifice my flexibility and give away my power and ability to choose an appropriate response. Yet so many of us do it. The Meta Model, Precision Model and Verbal Package offer direct ways of challenging these distortions of reality – in this case, by recognizing that nobody can make me, or anyone else, angry.

Conditioning can trap us too. When I start to make myself a cup of coffee, I pour in a sugar or two, without even evaluating how much sugar would taste best. And, in reality, different coffee demands different amounts of sugar! If a grave is just a rut with the ends kicked out, we can recognize that while habits and conditioned responses help streamline our experiences, it is so easy to trap ourselves in this conditioning. Collapsing anchors and setting up new anchors are fast and remarkably easy ways of regaining that choice.

When I think about broccoli, I imagine a piece that is dark green, glistening with water droplets, that looks so fresh that it could have just come from the garden. I can smell the freshness and health, and want to eat it. If instead I imagine a piece that looks like it’s spent the past hour in a steamer – so it’s floppy, the colours are washed out, and without smell or texture, it feels much less appealing. Submodalities help us become aware of how we use our internal representations to affect us – in this case, by changing my internal representations of broccoli from washed out to full of colour, I went from hating eating broccoli to loving it overnight.

The laws that apply to inorganic systems are different from the laws that apply to organic systems. Kicking a ball has reasonably predictable outcomes. Kicking a cat of the same weight will have vastly different and inherently unpredictable responses. NLP patterns are all about restoring freedom: Converting people from balls into cats.

For more on this, feel free to watch John Grinder on this YouTube clip or below if your browser permits.

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Respect their Model of the World

11 Jan 13
Daniel Smith
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My son politely asked me to feed him. Being very adorable, I’ve tended to agree to such requests; Though as he is almost ready to start kindergarten I figure it’s about time that he fed himself more and relied upon me less. I had just been pointing out the names of the different fingers and this time, his mother suggested that he ask his fingers to feed him.
Much to my surprise, he did. And “they” did!
Trying to persuade him that he “should” feed himself could have been painful and frustrating, yet by respecting his model of the world, we got our outcome easily and quickly.

You never know where Presuppositions of NLP can manifest!

Happy New Year!

01 Jan 13
Daniel Smith

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You probably have your own way of bringing in the new year. Maybe you watch the fireworks, or a movie, or get together with friends. Some people like to set “resolutions”. I find the notion of re-solution as being a bit too close to repeatedly solving something, but I do like to prepare for the new year. Below is outlined what I’ve used in reviewing the year that has been and preparing for the year ahead, consisting of a series of states and corresponding questions. I hope that it’s useful for you:

State 1: Clarity
What happened in the past year?

  • What were the magic moments; these are those amazing times, the experiences that you want to remember because they were wonderful.
  • What did you accomplish in the past year? What are you most proud of?
  • What were any other big events? Anything else that was strongly positive that you want to repeat or negative that you would want to avoid.
  • What were your best decisions of the past year?

State 2: Certainty
Identify anything in your life that was once a dream. Think about any goals that you have accomplished, experiences that you made happen, physical objects that you once desired; You are after a state of certainty and confidence.

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